- Jesus: Love thy neighbor as thyself.
- People: What if they’re gay?
- Jesus: Did I fucking stutter?
- mom: what kind of woman has an orgasm every time she has sex?
- me: a lesbian.
The American "Family" Association is going to boycott Google. YES! Just imagine all the rebellion that's going to spawn from this when the school year starts again.
- Mom: Sally, you can't use Google anymore. They support homos having all kinds of rights, including marriage, and we're against that. It'll tear up the social fabric of our society and threaten our religious freedom.
- Sally: How am I supposed to do my homework?
- Mom: Just go straight to wikipedia, Sally.
- Sally: But my teacher says I have to use a peer-reviewed article from a reputable academic journal.
- Mom: Then go to the journal's website.
- Sally: How am I supposed to know what website that is without using Google?
- Mom: You'll have to use Bing.
- Sally: But Microsoft donated money to marriage equality campaigns.
- Mom: I'll just take you to the library.
- Sally: But my homework is due tomorrow, and, because of recent budget cuts, our library is closed on Mondays.
- Mom: I'll just go speak to your teacher and get you an extension.
- Sally: And say what, Mom? "I wouldn't let Sally do her homework because I'm afraid of what will happen if we treat people with respect and have that reflected in our legal system. I have this irrational fear that two consenting adults, who were willing to fight for the ability to love each other and have that represented in a legal and social contract that offers protection and stability for both them and whatever children they may have, may actually show up heterosexuals with our 50% divorce rate, because they clearly value what marriage is supposed to mean"? You can walk away now....Oh, and, by the way, we should probably quit paying the electric company as well. They had a float in the pride parade this year. Not to mention, it will help you achieve your fantasy of living in the Dark Ages.